100+ Funny Quotes | Keep Laughing

Funny Quotes SUFFUZE

100+ Funny Quotes | Keep Laughing


Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Dille


A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
Don Marquis


Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Jack Handey


When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Rodney Dangerfield


If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
Steven Wright


If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Abraham Lincoln


Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
Mark Twain


I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.
Mitch Hedberg


Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Jim Carrey


A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
Steven Wright


There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
Ralph Waldo Emerson



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