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100+ Funny Quotes | Keep Laughing

Funny Quotes SUFFUZE

100+ Funny Quotes | Keep Laughing

 

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Dille

 

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
Don Marquis

 

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Jack Handey

 

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Rodney Dangerfield

 

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
Steven Wright

 

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Abraham Lincoln

 

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
Mark Twain

 

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.
Mitch Hedberg

 

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Jim Carrey

 

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
Steven Wright

 

There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

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